Mechanic

{noun}

Someone who breaks your car further when youve brought it in to be fixed, just so they can cost you more money.

Person A to person B: That scheming fool of a mechanic tried to convince me that my brake pads needed replacing, when i went to get my oil changed. I just put new ones on!

Person B: Yah man, ive been getting blown all over the place. I went to see what the problem was about my ride, and he said the reason it wouldnt start was that i was low on "headlight fluid". What a lying jerk!

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Nasty Jacked

Getting figuratively raped, Or having gotten as such. To be beaten figuratively or literally in such a way, that you feel like someone jacked off onto your soul.

As in:

The boys Varsity lacrosse team just got beaten by 7th grade girl's. NASTY JACKED

Can be used as a descriptive, or action word as such:

"Damn man you see that hot chick"

"Yeah"

"You should go out with her"

"I already have, we fucked"

"How was it???"

"Turns out shes my 2nd cousin"

"AHAHAHAHAHA DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM, you just got NASTY JAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKEEEDDDD"

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The Double Turkey

A variant of the Turkey handshake fail, where confusion between whether a handshake or a fist bump will be played leads to an accidental fist-palm. This new handshake takes that idea and doubles it, and makes it intentional. The first individual holds out a fist, the second person open palm slaps the fist in a downward fashion; the second person then makes a fist, and the first individual slaps the fist in a downward fashion.

John showed us that it was possible to recover from the fatal Turkey Shake by doubling down with the Double Turkey.

Dont be so Mayo

phrase

Campaign slogan using Miracle Whip to create a false sense of belonging, over mayonnaise. Emphasis on cool created by posing with Hipsters and drop out models. Anyone can rock out the mayo, and go unnoticed, but it takes a true douchebag to rock the 'Whip.

"Dont go unnoticed, Dont blend in, Dont be ordinary, boring, or bland.

In other words, DONT BE SO MAYO!"

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Dont be so Mayo

{phrase}

One of the most eye-opening retorts that can be said to a person. Hatred in the most vile way possible, it declares that you are boring, unwanted, tasteless, disgusting and both smell and sickeningly resemble ejaculate. You tend to go with the crowd and conform, pretend you really arent there, and hope people dont notice you.

-originally derived from a campaign slogan involving Miracle Whip sandwich spread-

To prove how non Mayo you are, you must become part of the Hipster revolution. The Miracle Whip revolution

"Dont go unnoticed, Dont blend in, Dont be ordinary, Boring, or Bland. In other words, Dont be so Mayo!"

Person A: "Holy shit, that chick is so sexy, help me out and be my wingman for a moment while i make a move to get in her panties."

Person B: "Nah dude, i cant, i know her"

Person A: "DUDE, dont be so fuckin MAYO"

Person B: "Oh my god, im so sorry, youre right, i didnt even notice. yah, lets bust a move on that bitch"

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Pay(s) for itself

When the amount of money saved equals or exceeds the cost of an item or service, usually through an extended period of time.

This is very often used as a means of promoting a good or service, such as gutters, food processors, juicers etc. As in:

"Now with Debby Meyer's green bags, you never have to throw away your produce due to spoilage! Produce lasts up to 7 times longer, saving you money and time. This product nearly pays for itself!"

Because Jack bought a home coffee grinder, he can grind his own beans at home! He no longer has to buy more expensive pre-ground coffee, so in essence his new machine pay(s) for itself.

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apect

a little used version of the word "masturbate" . also known as Apecting while in the act of doing.

watching this porn makes me feel like i have to apect. Apecting 6 times a day may lead to sore hands.