broken blender

When you put three fingers in a girls ass and spin it real fast...

I gave my girl a broken blender and it got shit all over.

siberian tailpipe

When you poop in a Ziploc bag roll it up and put it in the freezer. Then shove it up a girls butt.

My wife said I was boring and wanted a vacation. So I gave a Siberian tailpipe to shut her up.