Mysterious Male Friend

New friend of one of your maybe gaybe buddy.

"Did Joe bring a date?" "Nah, he was with one of his Mysterious Male Friends."

"Dude, ran into your buddy Steve. Wearing guyliner. With a Mysterious Male Friend."

3👍 3👎

fearscinated

A combination of FEAR and FASCINATION. Fascinated horror...you're intrigued, yet terrified, and you can't look away.

Susi: "I can't believe you like Honey Boo Boo!"
Me: "I don't like her -- I'm fearscinated by her."

"I find Jessica Simpson's Weight Watchers journey fearscinating!"

Cougar Maintenance

The mani/pedis, the highlights, workouts, facials, waxing, botox, etc. that keep Cougars 'in the hunt.' Otherwise, without said Cougar Maintenance, the Cougar risks looking like an Old Whore.

"Where's Tina today? Oh, she had to go for some Cougar Maintenance at the spa."

"Did you see Rachel? Girlfriend better go do some Cougar Maintenance."

14👍 1👎

Festival of Whores

Place where there are lots of available women.

"Dude, how was the action in Dewey?" "Awesome, it was like a Festival of Whores."

7👍 1👎

Old Whore

It’s the woman who is just trying too hard. She’s seen way too much sun in her life. Her skin is like an old piece of luggage. Her hair is over-processed, usually way too blonde. The hair is almost always a bit big. Her nails are usually long and acrylic, sporting the Carmela Soprano french mani. Her clothes are just a tad too snug. She has her boobs on display, with a wrinkled, freckly chest exposed. There are rhinestones. Perhaps an ankle bracelet. Occasionally said anklet may be seen over/under suntan colored panty hose. You can tell she’s been around the block, so to speak. She’s lived hard. Lots of booze. She’s a bit puffy in the face. She’s got her cocktail and she’s laughing a bit too loud.

"I need to put some more SPF 50 on...don't want to look like an Old Whore."

"Wow, she used to be so pretty...now she just looks like an Old Whore."

"Yikes, who's the Old Whore sporting those Daisy Dukes? So inappropriate."

"Mom's Bunko group is going on a cruise. It's gonna be Old Whore City."

60👍 8👎

whoregasm

the intense orgasm had after doing something very slutty...

"I know I shouldn't have cheated on Ted...but I had such a whoregasm w/Rob..."

or

"I felt so slutty wearing that bondage outfit but WOW - what a whoregasm!"

100👍 78👎

Cougar Mange

This is the opposite of cougar maintenance. Someone with gray roots growing out, unwaxed brows and girly bits, bitten nails, etc. Not ready for the Hunt!

Oh no, Hope! We're going to that party tonight and you have Cougar Mange. You better get that business taken care of fast!

Can you believe that Kathie showed up here with Cougar Mange? Someone get her to the salon asap!

31👍 25👎