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A type of constipation, the medical condition which results when Nogtard gorges himself on Sargent's apple pies and Hill biscuits. The obese Nogster loves all shitty biscuits and pies and has been known to feast on them for 6 hours at a stretch. The nogstipation can last up to a week. When it comes to an end and the fat retard eventually manages a dump the result can be explosive, not even the toughest porcelain being able to contain a mighty nogdump. Nogtard's legendary dumping exploits result in him getting through an average of 12 bogs per year. Roughly once a month the broken bogs are left in his front garden ready for removal to the nearest Maltby lorry.
Quick, phone the fire brigade, Nogtard's house has just blown up.
Don't panic, its probably Nogtard having a dump. He's had Nogstipation for the last week.
43๐ 6๐
An annual competition to determine the world's most boring person. Won for the last 4 years by Fishy MacSwell who impressed the judges with his droopy old face, boring Pork Scotch Trousers and his insistence on having a barbecue every day of his pointless fucking life.
Kibbles: What are all those trophies for?
Trace: They're the Porky Scotcher's. He's won the World Championship of Boringness for the last 4 years.
160๐ 30๐
An appliance used by fat security guards for keeping all the food responsible for maintaining their waistline above 50 inches. To anyone else who has access to it its a repository for steaming piles of shit.
Pork Scotch (opening the Pork Scotch Fridge): Dear God what's that smell!
Maybe your food's gone off.
Pork Scotch: Someone's put a bag of shit in my fridge!
I saw some niggers hanging round earlier.
Pork Scotch: I'll kill 'em all!
19๐ 6๐
An old man with 2 walking sticks who is such a genius he can walk at a 90 degree angle. He leaves his home once a day to display his unique talent to the envious world under the pretext of going to post a letter.
Who is West Bridgford's finest athlete?
That'll be Alf Trolleydocker, the 90 degree genius.
Where did he get his walk from?
I believe he got it from a corner shop.
30๐ 1๐
The bin in which Nogtard's bog was dumped by the Rogue Maltbyite. When the bog was discovered by Monk and Mick the dumpster stank to high heaven because of Nogtard's disgusting shits.
Monk: Are we going to get Nogtard's Bog out of the Maltby Dumpster?
Mick: Yes we have to. The Rogue Maltbyite must be beaten. We'll put it back on the Maltby Lorry with a new sign attached to it.
48๐ 8๐