bed chocolate

Residual excretion in, on, or around one's mattress, which is later mistaken for crumbs of chocolate.

Willard: Bernadine shat on my dick last Thursday evening while we were sleeping.
Hobo 1: Well, that's unfortunate...
Willard : The worst part is that I thought the bed chocolate is was a piece of the candy bar that I was eating yesterday afternoon for elevenses.

Hobo 2: STANKY!