ghost crap

when you feel like you're going to take a crap but nothing or almost nothing comes out.

Billy: Dude, I gotta take a huge dump
Brian: Awesome.
Billy: Damnit, it was a ghost crap. I didn't crap anything at all.

28👍 7👎

condom

A device, usually made of Latex or rubber and of different strengths and widths, usually lubricated, which can prevent pregnancys or STD's.

Drew, put on an american condom. Those fucking Chinese ones won't fit on yours; theyre too small.

86👍 38👎

morning wood

a boner or erection experienced when a guy wakes up in the morning.

damnit, fucking morning wood gave me a huge-ass boner and I'm sleeping in the same hotel room as my mom

169👍 104👎

LAA

Acronym for Los Angeles Angels, which is a retarded acronym created by owner Arturo Moreno in order to make citizens of Los Angeles feel welcome in Anaheim, where the Angels actually play.

At Dodgers Stadium

Arty Moreno:How come it says ANA on the scoreboard? It should say LAA now.

Frank McCourt(Dodgers owner): Bro, you guys play in Anaheim not in L.A., so we're not putting up LAA if you're not from L.A.

12👍 25👎

Futher Mucking Bon of a sitch

The first letters of "Mother fucking son of a bitch" switched around so that whoever says doesnt sound like theyre cussing.

*Guy 1 steals Guy 2's wallet and runs away*

Guy 2 : That Futher Mucking Bon of a sitch stole my wallet. Now i dont have my license or my credit cards

12👍 3👎

Asian Dragon

A sexual joke when a man, after getting head from a girl, at his climax he jizzes into her eyes causing her to squint like an asian and scream like a dragon

Brian: So, how was Ashley last night?

Andy: Bro, I pulled an Asian Dragon on her!

Brian: Dude! Kind of harsh, but it's about time you showed up that bitch!

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Sarris

The name of a reptile humanoid alien from the movie GalaxyQuest. He demands the Omega-13 device from the Thermians, a naive alien group disguised as humans.

Tim Allen shot Sarris to death in front of a GalaxyQuest convention! Right on!

9👍 3👎