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Sissy

Sissies are those sensitive people. They won’t eat meat and they cry all the time. Context is for them.
The relationship between sissies and emos is as follows:
sissies = emo
The evidence is compelling.
If you see a sissy, you should beat the crap out of them. It’s good for them. It makes them tough.

Actually it doesn’t, but it’s really funny to listen to them squeal.

If they try to talk to you, cut them off with a firm, "shut up." If they persist, punch them.

It’s a well-known fact that a good knee-to-the-groin will dissuade even the most clingy of sissies.

One of the best insults in existence was derived from the annoying qualities of sissies. It goes as follows:

"____ is for sissies!"

Brilliance.

Sissy.

by kodiac1 December 9, 2006

99👍 354👎


Flange

A flange is a metalic flan or quiche which forms the staple food for robots. Although robots do also enjoy snacking on staples, staples are not the staple food.

The first flange was baked in 1736 (that's just after 25 minutes to six) by Mrs Helen Highwater of Wales. This original flange was cooked to a prehistoric Italian recipe, using a simple combination of copper and iron. Today, the copper and iron flange is called Flange Lorraine or Flance Margharitta, both of which mean "plain and boring, somewhat tasteless, but nevertheless cheap and therefore relatively good value for money flange".

Mrs Highwater fed the original flange to her favourite robotic sheep, LLangchgoch-
gowbylloflen-
ogocgochgoch-
llanllanlllan. The sheep, together with the remains of the flange, can be seen in the International Museum of Flanges in the United States city of Baghdad.

The development of the flange was slow at first, until the Great Staple Crisis of 1987, which led to the establishment of the LLangochgochllogowbyllof
llenogochgochgochllanl
lanllllllllan Flange Export Company. The flange was simultaneously patented by Microsoft, Apple computer, Wikimedia, Mozilla and Coca Cola in the USA, but in the rest of the world is manufacturered solely by anyone.

flange =D... =)... =|...

by kodiac1 July 6, 2006

34👍 49👎


King Butthole the 3rd

In the year 1903, King Butthole the 3rd was born into kingship after his mother died in labor and his dad got wasted and set himself on fire. From the year 1903 to 1907, Austria was ruled by a baby. While under the baby's rule the country went to war with Godzilla and the United Arab Emirates.

In the year 1907 the King went to preschool. After the first day he declared war on finger paints and naptime. Finger paints suffered after the king used his nuclear capabilities on the crayola fingerpaint warehouse in Mongolia. But the king let naptime escape with it's life.
In the year 1957 the king bought the company who made Better Homes and Gardens magazine and made it into his military headquarters. With his base set up the King decided to build the great fort wallacocky made entirely of popsicle sticks.

The fort soon was destoyed in World war 2.5 and the King died in battle.

After dying the Austrian stock market collapsed and nobody goes there anymore. THE END!

“The Irish flag dips to no earthly butthole.”

~ Oscar Wilde on King Butthole the 3rd

by kodiac1 July 6, 2006

27👍 9👎


Friends of Pluto

The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!

The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.

The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.

The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.

by kodiac1 December 9, 2006

37👍 31👎


pwned

pwned is pronounced as if it rymed with owned, despite what a lot of dumbasses think. It means "I went to the bathroom" and is often used in conversations on the Internet. It is believed that the 'n' was placed there as a crudely drawn toilet to emphasize the actual meaning of the word and to confuse anyone who isn't aware of Internet talk, namely Baby-Boomers or older.

From its use in Hopscotch in the Middle Ages, pwned has wormed its way into the hearts of gamers off all types. Popularized by the game Checkers, invented in 1976, it was used as a shortened version of the word 'pawned'. When your queen reached your opponents first row, she would be 'pawned'. This eventually led to the phrase 'pwning bitches' or its shortened form, "Trebek'd". Or it could have been a spelling mistake on Quake 2. Who knows?

PWND also describes what happens when you get zerged by a group of albs doing a relic take at 3 a.m. (as that's the only time they can do one successfully). The same can be said if you get zerged by a group of mids at about 6 a.m., for the same reason... or when you get zerged by a group of hibs at just about any time during the day.

Of course, this is post-Catacombs and DEFINITELY post-TOA, when Hibs finally figured out how to RVR with their superior character classes and races. And Banshees. Don't forget the Banshees.

PWND is also the TRUE word muttered by Captain Jean-Luc Picard when he defeated the Borg queen at yet another one of her nasty little assimilation games. It was later edited out by network executives when they decided that the broadcast television-watching masses would not be capable of listening to the word "PWND" in all its glory, and their heads would explode if they were exposed to such an aesthetically and mathematically superior word.

Because PWND is neither a true noun or adjective, it is in a class of its own.

There are also other derivitives such as C0ned, droned, loaned, boned, mediowned, RobertDoaned, Daniel Booned, and AlCapowned. Another late comer to this new list is eatatthedoaned. No other phrase has made such a profoundly retarded impact upon our youth today. Due to this entirely stupid new reality, one can expect to see things such as pidill, noner, and filmerguiset describing things like ice cream, olives, and dish soap respectively.

Pwnsome is a hybrid of ‘pwn’ and ‘awesome,’ generally used to describe things that are pretty damn awesome, and pwn at the same time. It originated from a misspelling during an AIM conversation between two members of the Find Your God forums, and is widely used on www.findyourgod.forumsplace.com , though virtually unknown elsewhere. Its two founders are currently engaged in the holy task of making this pwnsome word as widespread as ‘w00t,’ ‘All Your Base are Belong to Us,’ and even ‘pwn’ itself. USE IT OFTEN, PEON!!!!

PWNED is, to date, the only English word containing a Silent P.

by kodiac1 July 9, 2006

25👍 41👎


new

New is a synthetic material and it was originally developed as a rubber replacement. But it is nowadays used everywhere from igloos to spandex pants and it has mostly replaced old. The first new factories were located in Jersey. Later there were so much new production there that people called it humorously New Jersey. Nowadays there is a movement lead by Ashton Kutcher against using new because large corporations are accused of using child labour in the production of new. If you have a lot of otherwise useless old you can polish it with new.

New is manufactured and sold all over the world, but it can sometimes be rather expensive. In that case old can be a good substitute of new. If you are really handy you can make new yourself.

“Why can't it be old?”

~ Oscar Wilde on new

by kodiac1 July 4, 2006

12👍 20👎


terrorism

Trrorism is a common mispelling of errorism. If you misspeel this werd, you're a terrorist so fuck you.

Terrorism is a branch of marketing. Unlike other dishonest marketers who sell you ugly cookies loaded with dangerous trans fats or homes that are on BTK serial killer's regular visiting list, terrorists sell you undiluted terror without frills.

The promoters of tarriorism were small mom and dad popcorn retailers. These poor business people used up their retirement funds to build large and beautiful popcorn eating halls hoping to make their money back. However, none of these popcorn eating halls were any useful. People just did not show up.

One day, an angry mom killed some unthankful non-customers in her own semi-deserted popcorn hall. The killing, witnessed by some innocent passer-by school children, was soon popularized in town. In a couple of hours, people gathered in front of the popcorn hall demanding to see more pay per view killings. That angry mom sold each of them a bag of hot and tasty popcorn, and killed someone in the hall once the popcorn eating seats were all occupied.

And the rest is history.

“Terrorism is best consumed with butter and your girlfriend”

~ Oscar Wilde on Popcorn

by kodiac1 July 3, 2006

12👍 18👎