Mommy Blogging

The act of a mother documenting every detail of her child's life with unnecessary photos, social media updates and blog posts. Mommy blogging also includes condescending other mothers with inaccurate parenting and/or medical advice.

Dinah: Hey girl, did you vaccinate your kids yet?
Karen: No....Jenna was saying that I shouldn't vaccinate my kids since vaccinations can cause childhood obesity.
Dinah: Are you seriously listening to Jenna? She's not even a nurse! That bitch is just mommy blogging.
Karen: Yeah girl, you're right

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Maury

1) An American tabloid style talk show which exploits people of low socioeconomic and educational status, who are seeking paternity testing or lie detector testing to prove infidelity.
2) A tv show where you would find the most ignorant and ratchet Americans who weren't ignorant and ratchett enough for Jerry Springer.
3) A show where people go when they are too dumb or lazy to hit up a lab or the family court for a paternity test.
4) A show where women dash backstage like Olympic runners when they hear that the man they accused is not the baby daddy.
5) A show where Maury asks the accused man, "If this is your child, you will step up and take care of it," but the viewer can predict with 100% accuracy that the man won't do shit whether or not he is the father.

Joseph: listen bitch I ain't your babby daddy
Maria: Fuck you..we gonna go on Maury and find out.
Joseph: Imma be laughing like a mother fucker when you run backstage after Maury tell you I'm not the father.
*2 months later..yes he is the father
Maria: You know this is your son now! You told Maury you would step up and be a father if this is your kid.
Joseph: Bitch you funny. All the guys say that.

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