Blue Monday

There is none in your Sunday clothes.

... for there's no Blue Monday in your Sunday clothes!

pulling a Shinji

Masturbate over your crush while she’s sleeping/unconcious.

John was pulling a Shinji last night. I think I’m in love with him.

Speedity

A noun for speed.

Marthas enthusiasm could only be overtaken by Martins speedity.

Sperm

• The unwanted product of copulation, makes babies.

- Joe, you have sperm on your face!
- That's because your mom doesn't swallow.

Miscopulating

• Accidentally banging your sister-in-law instead of your wife.
• If male is unconscious of the situation whereas female isn't, see manipulative sex.

- While Joe was miscopulating with Anne, Mary was already on her way to the gun store.

...and then I ask them: "What are the cards for?"

A phrase used to change the subject when someone who should not be hearing the conversation directly preceeding said phrase walks into hearing range/room. It is often followed by laughter.

- So are you going to tell my wife that you slept with her sist...
- *The wife enters the room*
- *Nervously* ...and then I ask them: "What are the cards for?"