Academic Whore

An “Academic Whore” is someone who will stop at nothing to achieve what they want in a scholastic setting. Activities he or she engages in to achieve their “ideal grade” include:

• Openly and unabashedly flirting or sucking up to a professor or higher academic authority.

• Sabotaging other students’ projects so that his or her project looks better in comparison

• Hoarding research materials, textbooks, articles and back work (previous exams, etc) from other students

• Hogging professor time after class with mundane questions so that other students with legitimate questions won’t get a chance to have them answered then

• Spending more time than necessary or socially acceptable with teaching assistants so that grades can be “boosted” if need be

• Joining a specific professor’s club just for a semester so the professor can think that the academic whore is “legitimately interested in their field of work”.

• The academic whore feels justified in conversation when they can drop names and references, and they expect you to be awed by their sheer presence even if their conversational skills are on par with a potato’s.

• The academic whore is a master at judging people based on numbers on pieces of paper. While they are taught to value true qualities, they cannot bring themselves to do so due to the extreme mental capacity they devote to fitting a banal mold.

Academic Whore: "Professor I read your article on fibroblasts maintaining the extra cellular matrix in iguana cells and I have to say it was the best thing I've ever read in my life! You inspired me to be a better person! My parents want you to come over for dinner!"

Professor: "Shut up, you fucking academic whore."

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