culture shift

phenomenon whereby nothing new ever actually happens. millions of angry, brainless, slack-jawed simpletons monopolize every bit of bandwidth extant texting their frustration about this intolerable state of affairs because they believe there must be a reason for their lot, ergo the atmosphere is rent and the culture shifted. the mindless uninspired who insist on affixing a title and definition to a perennial state of nothingness are proof that nothing is ever new. one day it's nascar, the next day teaparties.

it's like- oh, my god- i'm like totally freaking out. peace out, orange county, i'm like so totally over this culture shift.

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emoticonvoluted

confused attempt to communicate by use of punctuation keys on a device with a complete alphabetical keyboard.

;/* i perceive as some sort of comment however emoticonvoluted

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dewwhuut

1) literal bastardization of the mindless pronouncement
"do what?" which serves as comment, question and answer issued involuntarily from the mouths of the mullet-wearing masses of the lower ranks of the american states.
2) an autonomic response to any stimuli including pabst blue ribbon
3) do what?

beef, borf, boof, pablst blue ribbon! dewwhuut?

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condoleezza

practical joke gone tragically wrong. fearing their daughter might one day occupy a position of high moment, strategic importance and international infamy, the reverend and mrs john and angelena rice gave to their only child a name of such improbable ugliness and unwieldly, supurfluous vowel usage as to cauterize any chance of success in public life. sadly, the world now knows their daughter condoleezza as the highest ranking bunifa extant, house negro (see; malcom x's definition), accomplice and willing tool of the criminal george bush regime.

mamma; gastroniquia, where my popeye chicken at?
bunifa; condoleezza done et it up with marss dick chainie

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glennbeck

slang for venereal warts (condyloma acuminata radio mendacious) commonly manifested as fat, soft, moist, pink, or flesh-colored gorgons, typically in the genital area. They may be bloated, gasseous, small or smaller. They often combine to form a large cauliflower-shaped blowhard of a rushlimbaughlike node known to give off noxious gasses and peurile nonsense; the only known venereal disease resulting from terminal onanism

whoa, what's that on your blowhole- you've got glennbeck

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phelds podge

1) a pox of greed and heedless aquisition marked by
2) earth chancre, an open sore on the planet's crust which often runs bone deep.
3) a condition of decrepitude wrought of abuse and abandonment
4) extreme stultification which, when left unchecked, afflicts its victims with eustace tilley syndrome marked by stove pipe hats and chronic monocle dependency with their noses in the air as if they had not a care.

ever since phelds podge took hold i can't read barron's without my monocle

estrogenocracy

noun, pl- cies
a system of governance of, for and by women, notably of the objectionable type who thrive on such a system, common to the offices of insurance companies, law offices, healthcare providers and (insert violent, uncontrollable wretching) the bureau of motor vehicles. intolerant to creative solutions, marked by a rigid inflexibilty, antithetical to growth or change, these systems are entrenched by way of a dogmatic adherence to the principle of inertia. like a bad marriage, an estrogenocracy thrives on discord, negativity, vindictiveness and a collective will to affect every aspect of the ostensible mission with the literal and figurative spray of urine. once in effect an estrogenocracy is nigh impossible to dislodge and certain to remain an impediment to a cheerful, productive and pleasant workplace.

oy gevalt, i must renew my driver's license. better is should stick a fork in my eye than venture into that reeking estrogenocracy of the bmv.

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