Guinness

A liquid black gold, unlike any other fluid in modern science; a beer that tastes like the springs of heaven and is just as smooth going down. Sets the baseline for beer in Irish pubs.

Not very carbonated, just smooth, chuggable flavor.

Known for the insane show of nirogen acrobatics, while the drinker waits for the holy thick, creamy head of godliness to settle.

Turns fruity men with tight pink shirts into whore-house frequenting lumberjacks; drinking guinness is a sign of pure masculinity.

Ordering Guinness in a true Irish pub: "Pint, please."

Woman: "You're so smooth!"
Kieth Stone: "Not as smooth as a Guinness!"

"Guinness is nasty!"
"Go drink a blue moon and stop whining, pussy!"

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