Random
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Random
Shirtless Profile Asshole believes that they are Godâs gift to social networking. In reality, they have nothing to offer, so Shirtless Profile Asshole snaps a photo (often fuzzy or dimly lit) and uses this as their MySpace and / or Facebook (or other predatory website) profile picture.
More often than not (although not necessarily a requirement for the definition), Shirtless Profile Asshole leaves their ugly face out of the image, which can only work to their advantage. Shirtless Profile Asshole usually sports some form of boring tribal arm band or barb wire tattoo. This is due to Shirtless Profile Assholeâs complete lack of originality in every aspect of their life.
Shirtless Profile Asshole most likely owns a crotch rocket or a Mustang (see Crotch Rocket Asshole and/or Mustang Asshole), which makes for the brain-wrenching choice of which stupid photo to use for their profileâ¦their lame ride, or their zit-filled bare chest?
When Sid discovered that his personsality and character wasnt able to get him far in the dating scene, he morphed into Shirtless Profile Asshole and the number of girls on his "friends" list skyrocketed. Too bad the fake-ass girls on his list accept anybody who send them an invite, just to boost their own egos with the false hopes that they themselves may have something to offer. They really could care less about the zits or ugly tattoos that he sports.
29👍 6👎
Cigarette Asshole holds up the entire line at the convenience store, describing to the cashier what cigarettes they choose to spend their unemployment benefits on and kill themselves with. The description is often something like âKool 100 slim unfiltered menthols in a hard packâ hence confusing the befuddled cashier, and pissing off everyone else waiting in line. God forbid you find yourself waiting behind the occasional Lottery Ticket / Cigarette Asshole combination personality. You might as well shoot yourself or leave and try a different store. See Mustang Asshole and Lottery Ticket asshole for other possible asshole personality combinations.
'Why doesn't Cigarette Asshole just jump off a cliff? That way, they can speed up the whole death process and spare me the next 3 hours waiting in line."
49👍 25👎
Crotch Rocket Asshole believes that they own the road (which is directly contrary to Mustang Asshole), and have the fastest bike on the planet. Crotch Rocket Asshole weaves in and out of traffic, ignoring every traffic law that every other citizen has to obey. Crotch Rocket Asshole often pops wheelies in the middle of the street, which (I guess) only impresses Crotch Rocket Assholeâs underage girlfriend.
Crotch Rocket asshole is easily identifiable. Besides the obvious bike identification, Crotch Rocket Asshole often wears a gay leather jacket and pants combo that color match their bike, and often has a gay rubber Mohawk attached on top of their helmet. In reality, Crotch Rocket Asshole would never have the balls to sport a REAL mohawk in a million years. Crappy, faded, tribal armband and/or barb wire tattoos often adorn Crotch Rocket Assholeâs arm.
Crotch Rocket Asshole often uses their bike as their Facebook or MySpace profile image, in the slim hopes that some desperate female will dig the bike, and ignore the downsides of Crotch Rocket Asshole (namely the fact that the bike is their only means of transportation).
One can only hope that Crotch Rocket Asshole gets the shit beat out of them by Harley Rider.
See Cigarette Asshole and Lottery Ticket asshole for other possible âassholeâ personality combinations.
Stan: "Crotch Rocket Asshole passed me up on the road today doing 90 in a school zone while popping a wheelie"
Ted: "I bet you were driving in front of a high school, wern't you?"
Stan: "Yeah, how did you know THAT?"
Ted: "30-year old Crotch Rocket Asshole was showing off and scamming for babes."
41👍 26👎
Bank Drive-thru Asshole uses the drive-thru lane at the bank to conduct 20 minutes of banking that should be taken care of by walking inside. The grossly overweight Bank Drive-thru Asshole obviously canât waddle their fat asses inside the lobby, so their only hope is that their rusted, oil-burning piece of crap car will idle long enough at the drive-thru. Bank Drive-thru Asshole often causes an unsuspecting and unfortunate victim to lose the Bank Drive-thru Lottery.
Bank Drive-thru Asshole will also not hesitate to use the Commercial Lane. Apparently, Bank Drive-thru Asshole also lacks the ability to fill out a deposit slip BEFORE their turn in line. Bank Drive-thru Asshole would be better served going to the local check cashing store to cash their monthly unemployment or welfare checks.
Bank Drive-thru Asshole's next stop is the convenience store, which usually results in the morphing into Cigartette Asshole and/or Lottery Ticket Asshole.
I got caught behind Bank Drive-thru Asshole this morning. They must have been trying to cash a forged state check which was signed by three different people. To top it off, Bank Drive-thru Asshole probably had no valid ID. Damn...they made me lose the Bank Drive-thru Lottery.
13👍 1👎
When your shot snail trails itâs way off the table
Damn, just lost my drink to the kilhart
You enter the Bank Drive-Thru Lottery when you pull up to the drive-thru at the bank, and all the lanes are filled. You have to make the very important decision to choose which lane will get you through faster. Often times, people will sit back several car lengths from the drive thru lanes, waiting for a lane to move. These people need to grow some balls and make a decision to enter the Bank Drive-thru Lottery. The most risk involved with the Bank Drive-thru Lottery is getting stuck behind Bank Drive-thru Asshole.
Lost the Bank Drive-thru Lottery this morning. Got caught behind Bank Drive-thru Asshole, and made it thru an entire CD of songs before my turn in line came up. I also managed to get lung cancer from breathing in Bank Drive-thru Asshole's oil-burning fumes.
The Social Network Status Tease (SNST) is a ditzy bitch who can do no more than post âcuteâ little sexual comments and jokes on their MySpace and/or Facebook page, with the hopes that they will get a long thread of âcuteâ little sexual responses from guys (most likely Shirtless Profile Asshole, Mustang Asshole, or Crotch Rocket Asshole).
SNSTâs only creativity in life is the ability to use common, everyday terms in some kind of sexual reference. SNST also LOVES to post pics which emphasize their boobs. Their face may be a wreck, but their cans have GOT to be the attention of the photo. SNST will post from their home, school, work, the store, or anywhere else in order to satisfy their piss-poor self-esteem.
Nobody with any moral character at all wants to see the posts from SNST. They are predictable and oh-so-common. SNST often announces the bar at which they are going that evening, with the hopes that local male assholes will also go to that same bar. This makes for an entire evening of free drinks, and ego-boosting flirting for SNST.
Social Network Status Tease won't have very many ways to attract attention when time takes its toll on their face and body. Luckily, loser "social network guy" doesn't care that the face in SNST's profile doesn't really match the face in person. For the time being, however...its free drinks and filrting fo SNST !!!!
15👍 5👎