Rural Dictionary

Jew Camp

Jew Camp is a place which is labelled by Jewish adults as

"A place where Jewish teens can congregate in a safe and welcoming environment to learn more about their judaic lifestyles and traditions."

But whether they're willing to admit it or not, everyone knows that there is only one reason anyone sends kids to Jew Camp: to procreate the species. Jew Camp is about Jewish teens getting together, yes, but the learning is just a time killer until it's dark enough to go find a nice cabin (or spot in the woods, or gazebo, or baseball diamond, or orange grove, or amphitheater, or, well, you get the picture) to satisfy their most basic hormonal urges.

The most "active" day of and Jew Camp setting is from friday night until saturday night. This is commonly known in the Jewish world as Shabbat, the day of rest. But rest and relaxation are only the front put on the day during which it is a double-mitzvah (it fulfills two commandments from the Torah) to fornicate. During this period, these two mitzvot are often adhered to and fulfilled as often as possible, usually with the excuse, "I'm just trying to be a better Jew," whether the young Jew actually attempts to follow mitzvot or not.

Jew Camp does not only take place during the summer months. The term "Jew Camp" is often used as a label for any organized gathering of Jewish teens during which at least one night is spent away from home, and there is some sort of "adult supervision," which usually consists of other jews in their early twenties who are two busy fulfilling their own sexual desires to restrain the teens in their charge from doing the same. A few examples of activities that are described to goyim as "Jew Camp":

-Confirmation trips
-Hebrew High retreats
-Summer trips with a group of Jewish teens, often to Israel
-Synagogue retreats (Although there is often too large a presence of parental units to count as Jew Camp, the umbrella term is still applied here on occaision. Ample time to "wander off" with an equally hormonally charged teen is almost always found somehow, thus it can still count as Jew Camp)
-Youth group trips or overnight events (NFTY, USY, BBYO, etc.)

To summarize, Jewish teens + sex = Jew Camp

1) Mat: What are you doing this summer?
John: Jew Camp
Mat: What do you do at Jew Camp?
John: What do you do when your girlfriend's parents go out of town?

2) Sally: Jew Camp is in three days!
Rebecca: Who are you going for?
Sally: Jacob, what about you?
Rebecca: Michael, he was totally looking at me all last year, he'd better
make a move this time!

by max blum January 31, 2007

109👍 30👎

Jew Camp

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