muppet show

a group of morons in close proximity, behaving as morons do. the muppet show can often be seen at said morons natural habitats, such as:

1. chav infested shopping centres on saturdays
2. 'up town' on a friday night outside a nightclub
3. political gathrings, especially if George W Bush is in the vacinity (though he is by no means the only culprit, just the biggest.)

person a: why has that lad got bounced from a nightclub for being blatantly underage, staggered into the road swearing, flashed his arse at the police and got arrested whilst his fat girlfriend screams and hammers the riot van with her fists?

person b: the muppet show must be in town.

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harajuku girl

Gwen Stefani's creepy little Japanese pets. The ones that throw on all the outfits they own at once.

'i'll get me 4 harajuku girls too, uh huh'-rich girl

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nas

one who is screwed, make a regrettable mistake.
from nas saying he backed ja rule in the 50 cent/ja rule beef, only to have ja rule turn around and diss him, leaving nas screwed on both sides.

guy a: 'ha ha look at that fugly heiffer!'
guy b: 'thats my mama'
guy a: 'oh no, i just dropped a nas!'

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how much you normally pay?

Something all asian taxi drivers in the UK say when you get in the cab. Must be said with indian/pakistani accent for full effect, and can be very amusing if used correctly. see also:
can i help you my friend?
where u wanting to go?
my brother do it cheap for you!

when serving on the bar or in a shop, try asking 'how much you normally pay?' when a customer asks u how much something is, then laugh at their response

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e meter

a trick employed by scientologists to try to scam you into taking their 'therapy' sessions at $400 a pop. here is a guide. beware:

1. First a scientologist will approach you, offering you a free stress test. you will know they are a scientologist, as they will have the staring, unblinking 'crazy eyes'. they will be very reluctant to take no for an answer.

2. if you do go with them, they will hook you up to an 'e meter'. they will ask you to think of some deeply troubling experience, and when the meter moves slightly, they will present this as evidence you need therapy.

3. you will end up paying $400 a session to have whats troubling you 'audited' (cleared) from your mind. but get this: whats troubling you is, apparently, the souls of murdered aliens (thetans) in your head. betcha didn't see that one coming eh?

i'm sick of these scientologists trying to jack my nads with their e meters

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go catch a fish

something snoop dogg used as an insult on doggy-fizzle televizzle, to much amusement.

go catch a fish!...bitch!

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Dignified burial at sea

A euphemism for the act of defecation. Coined after Osama Bin Laden's 'dignified burial at sea'.

Taking a shit, dropping the kids off at the pool, laying cable, cutting off a length of dirty spine

Fred: "Where the hell is Dave? He's been gone ages!".
Dave: "Sorry about that guys, I had to perform a 'dignified burial at sea!'"

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