Pirate-eyed

"Pirate-eyed" is a condition resulting from over use of the iPhone or similar device in the dark or dimly-lit environment whilst favoring one eye. The resulting condition causes a temporary focal imbalance akin to having a patch over an eye.

Jack was lying in bed surfing on his iPhone so long that he became pirate-eyed and didn't recognize Lola when she walked in and switched on the light.

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Blago

A very painful growth on one's posterior, either a cyst or an std-related infection; sometimes used to refer to discomfort that arises from too much anal intercourse. Named in honor of Gov Rod Blagojevich.

"My girlfriend claims I gave her a blago and refuses to ride on my cycle..."
"Dude, my tailbone has this blago so I had to stand in the back during the movie"

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