Jiu

its been 7 months. its been 7 months and I'm still remembering you whenever I look at the skies. its been 7 months and i still flinch whenever i hear your name or something similar with your name. it's been seven long months, i did improve a lot tho, however i'm still on the process. i know you've moved on already and i do respect that so much that's why i didn't want to have any contacts with u anymore. the mere thought that there will be something related to you is close to me, makes me wanna go back and crumble into pieces, and destroy my 7 months of rebuilding myself. there are always days that i think im better off without u but there will always be days that i hope that my decisions was not made that way. I don't know why i am telling this to you, i just felt like i wanted to tell you what i went through to stop myself. I just want to share my experiences because i really can't share it to anyone. sometimes it feels like everything just happened yesterday. sometimes, it's so heavy that i do not know how to handle it. i broke down a lot during the final exams and it's such a struggle to survive those days. i think you will be surprised that i still have your videos. I still do. our zepeto world pictures, i still have them too. our convos, and the edits, they are all in my phone. i don't have the power to let them go. i can't and i won't. I did try tho, i did. i just couldn't do it. it's me and my weakness. hahaha ciao.

I'm happy for Jiu and I hope you're doing good.

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