Minneapolis

The coldest city in America. The city touts it's literacy rate, healthy population, low crime, high culture and numerous parks in a desperate attempt to lure residents to the frigid metro. The nickname "Mini Apple" is an even less subtle effort to bring oblivious New Yorkers to the region. The city bears a strong resemblance to Kansas city, Omaha, Des Moines and suburban Chicago, and thus is of little interest.

Polar bear- "It's so cold!"

Penguin- "Not as bad as Minneapolis."

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