Blonde Mafia

A group of blonde women riding in a black SUV together. The age group is 25 to 45 and they are often real estate agents. They use their blonde hair and upscale fashions to intimidate other agents who get in their way. They will happily strike a Charlie's Angel pose if you ask them nicely.

One real estate agent to another. "Oh, oh, get ready, here comes the Blonde Mafia".

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Christmiscellaneous

The label on the box that contains all the items from Christmas that defy categorization. It’s the flocked pinecones and the weird ornaments and snow globes that really have no other place to go. All the odd Christmas things from your Christmas trees over the years and the tacky Christmas towels that someone gave you. Basically if it doesn’t match up with anything else it goes in this box. You don’t have the heart to throw it away so into the box it must go.

Beverly is so organized and loves to have everything in its place. But when it time comes time to put Christmas away, there are some items that just don’t match up with anything else and have to be put in a catchall box that’s marked Christmiscellaneous. She now has about three of these boxes with old pinecones and snow globes.

Shameglasses

The biggest, roundest sunglasses you can find to hide your face as you do something REALLY embarrassing. They probably end up drawing more attention to you, but you don't care, since you don't have to look anyone in the eye.

I had to drive my mom's car into town and wouldn't you know it the El Molino cheerleaders were having a fundraising bake sale in front of Safeway. Luckily I was wearing my shameglasses, so driving a car with the license plate that says GRANNIE wasn't so bad.

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