southerner

Contrary to popular belief, southerners are not ignorant, drunken hicks that live in trailer parks and eat possum as shown by Dukes of Hazzard and Kevin Federline. Most southerners are well educated and have a strong sense of moral value. And no, not all of us talk like Forrest Gump. Southerners are perhaps the most badass variety of Americans there are and in short, we basically own everything.

Northerner: Haha man that southerner sure is a redneck.

Southerner: Yeah why don't you go practice falling down; I'll be there in a minute.

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