ShitCoin

A new physical currency established in February 2020. One two-ply sheet is equal to one shitcoin, and these coins come in rolls, just like traditional coins.

I bought me Adidas trackie from Sports Direct, cost me half a ShitCoin roll, innit.

5👍 48👎

Bowlee

A physical activity, akin to a Burpee, but requires a toilet bowl and typically some form of food poisoning.

1) The exercise starts with a short run to the toilet bowl. Stand facing the bowel, drop to your knees with hands on the toilet seat or rim and elbows must reside below toilet seat level to ensure proper form. Insert head into the bowl and proceed to vomit.

When you feel the gravy train hedging for your anus then you MUST immediately move to the next step:

2) With your hands still on the seat, explode up from knees to feet. Quickly pirouette and drop your arse on the toilet seat and push for immediate relief. If there is time before you need repeat step one then I recommend you take that moment to wipe and flush.

The exercise can be performed without food poisoning but in-between each step, either perform 10 sit-ups, or get a friend to punch you in the gut, hard.

The exercise can also be intensified a follows:
1) reverse the order, shit first, vomit second.
2) enforce a no flush rule.

Last night I enjoyed a shellfish platter from a street vendor and then I spent the night doing bowlees.