Pussy topiary

The art of shaving/waxing/trimming a woman's pubic hair into different shapes and configurations, for aesthetic reasons, for her pleasure and that of her partner. The easiest shape to achieve is, without doubt, "the landing strip". A heart shape can be achieved with a stencil. The squirrel and peacock are more challenging.

Last night I spent ages shaving and trimming and waxing my bits, just to get a nice, neat little bush. It's a fucking work of art now, pure pussy topiary.

4👍 4👎

coggle over

North East England, dialect, phrasal verb: to twist your ankle while walking or running causing you to stumble.

A typical 'coggle over' conversation:

Ow!

What’s the matter?

Nothing, just coggled over... Aaargh, me ankle, it fuckin’ knacks, man!

Yer daft cunt.

8👍 2👎

Pornoisseur

Combination of the words ‘porn’ and ‘connoisseur’ to indicate someone (male or female) who is a discerning and responsible consumer of pornography, as opposed to someone who wanks off to whatever they can find or someone whose tastes are highly dubious.

A pornoisseur:

* possesses a great deal of knowledge about pornography and awareness of its genres, gained over many years, but is not remotely interested in viewing anything sick, abusive or illegal

* has informed and discriminating taste and can distinguish the good porn from the bad

* enjoys porn and recommends it to their friends as part of a healthy sexual relationship

Yeah, I suppose you could call me a pornoisseur: I spent ages in a sex shop the other day choosing DVDs. There’s a lot to take into consideration as those DVDs ain’t cheap!: production values, how hot are the women, how hot are the men, how long is it, what’s the genre…

17👍 5👎

fuck fatigue

The feeling of sudden and profound lethargy/drowsiness which often follows a particularly long and intense fucking session. Not limited to men; can also be experienced by women, usually post-orgasm(s).

We really went for it on Friday night, did it every fucking which way… up the arse, double dip, triple dip, 69, him on top, me on top, doggy style…. afterwards we were both knackered: total and utter fuck fatigue. I was out for the count for about an hour!

5👍 2👎