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A drink so vile, i have attempted suicide every time that i think about it, even now
Woman: hey have you tried Monster Java? It is SO good
Man: honey, cut the shit and get me a pacific punch monster from the fridge
some shit energy drink that the hy-vee down the road sells and that will immediately, no matter the place or time, triggers acid reflux and burns a hole in your throat
you may say "oh, you drink monster, so you have no say" and to that i say that you drink 3D, an objectivly worse, shittier and down right poisonous "eNeRgY dRiNk" that does nothing but give you the push that an anorexic grandma would, and gives me the push to finally stop calling the wee woo wagon when i overdose on monster unleaded
You
you are a virgin, I mean, I got a handjob once, but I'm not allowed to engage in number 3 because my cum is the most acidic thing known to man, i was almost imprisoned for terrorism cause that girl had her face burned
1π 1π
A brand of energy drink that is equally as expense as it is bad, an 8 ounce wil set you back 1) your house and both of your kidneys (not that you need to sell them, they caused me kidney failure) and 2) your dignity, it is the starbucks of energy drinks, it tastes like cough syrup and costs you your health and reputation
Ultra Chad : why is Red Bull so expensive?
Ultra Thad : it's more of a status symbol than anything, like supreme and gucci, they aren't good, you use it to flex
A drink so addictive, i have had 3 heart attacks and have had several kidney stones surgically removed because i drank so many of them in 1 sitting
I have had 3 heart attacks and have been disowned by all of my family because of my inability to stop drinking monster juice, please help
A company that has ruined my life in the best way possible, and YOU, yes YOU need to try a monster
this is not a sponsorship for monster energy, i just have problems, no you can't judge me
The most acidic liquid known to man, only unable to burn through my testes
Monster Juice Addict: It is illegal for My Cum to leave my body, if i nut in some girl's mouth it burns a hole through her face in microseconds, but it tastes like monster juice
Girl : *salivating* come with me... for... science reasons
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