shit in a piss time

Toilettiquette...When visiting the restroom out on a date, or at a dinner party, you take a lightning fast crap to fool your date or fellow diners into thinking you only needed a piss by being in the can for such a short time.

a very hurried poop taken so as not to keep guests waiting

I really needed to take a shit but my date had arrived, so I told her I was just 'nipping to the bathroom to freshen up' and took a quick 'shit in a piss time', so as not to keep her waiting

4👍 1👎

Kings!

East Midlands slang term... to claim immunity from something, cross index and middle fingers of both hands and hold them up, and say "I've got Kings", it should be enough to get you off the hook or out of doing a chore

the opposite of "Dibs" or "Bags"

4 men at the bar in the Pub...
1st man: 'whos turn is it to get the beers in? I got the last ones in.'
2nd man: "Not me - I've got Kings!" (holding up crossed fingers)
3rd man: "Kings!" (also holding up crossed fingers)
1st man points to 4th man and says "...odd lines mate...they've got Kings... go get the beer!"

1👍 2👎

JESUS

A pretty cool chap according to his fans. Played in goal for Tottenham Hotspur FC in the late 60's.

Eddie Wolstenholme (commentator): "JESUS SAVES.. but Best knocks in the rebound!!

3👍 22👎

Bellamy's Backyard

1. A very overgrown unkempt garden, reaching head height and resembling a jungle, named for the 70's TV show 'Bellamy's Backyard Safari' hosted by bearded botanist Sir David Bellamy.

2.An untrimmed 'Mary Hinge' as favoured by German ladies in the 1980's.

1,The chap kicked the football high, it went through the air and landed over next doors front wall
kid 1' You fetching that ball back youth?'
kid 2 ' Not a chance mate, its like Bellamy's Backyard over there, we'll never find it'

Hermann noticed that Lotte's 'Mappatazi' was sprouting out the sides of her knickers, on further inspection, he concluded that it was like Bellamy's Backyard down there

2👍 3👎

PAY TWICE

Noun. a name for an extremely overweight person, someone who would have to 'pay twice' to get in the cinema, ride a bus etc.

Man 1 "you've put some weight on since I last saw you you've turned into a proper 'Michelin Man'"
Man 2 " I gained 80 pounds"
Man 1 "you fat pay twice, I bet your gut has its own postcode now"
Man 2 "I've been a bit pie-friendly recently"

4👍 1👎

ENAMEL BANGER

a huge turd, so long it touches the toilet bowl before being 'crimped off' by the ass muscles- also known as a 'crowd pleaser' , a yam, U571 or a Trent Otter

I did a massive shit last night, a real Enamel Banger

16👍 4👎

F1 Finish

the Money shot at the end of a Porn sequence where 3 guys 'arrive' at the same time all over one (or more) chicks (or guy) by emptying their cocks- in a similar way to the Podium finish of a Grand Prix race

".... and so at the end of the '75 Swedish Grand Prix all that remains is for Emerson, Mario and James to get hold of the Jereboams and drench the adoring fans and each other with champagne for a proper F1 Finish"