Chowder Cow

Originally a military strategy, the Chowder Cow is a sexual act in which two sweaty obese men super-glued in the 69 position are thrown from a helicopter into a tornado while experiencing simultaneous projectile diarrhea and fellating one another. Each man's left thumb is deeply inserted into the other's anus, resulting in two powerful cone-shaped fountains of liquid feces spraying in opposite directions as the spiraling, wet mound of rippling fat and human excrement violently plummet towards earth, ending in a massive eruption of flesh, bones, organs, and various bodily fluids vaguely resembling a mixture of clam chowder and ground beef. If both men experience an Alaskan Firedragon at the exact moment they come in contact with the ground, it is known as a Chowder Dragon.

Me: "It appears as if a Chowder Cow is headed in our direction."

Friend: "Shit."

Foreskin Cookie

Like a fortune cookie, but made from a dehydrated foreskin instead of a cookie. Some studies indicate that as many as one in 30 fortune cookies may not be a cookie at all but actually just a crusty foreskin. Fortune cookie manufacturers are able to sneak this fact past consumers as many people fail to percieve any difference between a foreskin and a cookie. However, many culinary connoisseurs swear by the foreskin cookie, hailing it as superior to the common fortune cookie. Foreskin cookies are even a delicacy in many Asian cultures. According to ancient Chinese legend, the fortunes found in foreskin cookies combine to form a secret prophecy from Confucius himself.

I got Chinese take-out last night and it came with a foreskin cookie. It was exquisite.

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BAMBF

Bad
Ass
Mother
Butt
Fucker
(variation of BAMF)

Me: John McClane is a total BAMBF
Friend: Yippee-ki-yay, mother buttfucker.

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