Mike Pence

That long painful moment when you're taking a huge shit, but no feces comes out. It's almost like diarrhea, except your stomach is literally tearing apart within the insides. This phenomenon lasts about 2-4 hours, depending on the severity of the condition. Common side effects include nausea, homophobia, misogyny, fascism, and conservatism.

*Exists bathroom*
Me: Dude...I just totally suffered in there.
Friend: What happened bro?
Me: I had a long Mike Pence
Friend: Aw dude, I know how you feel. Mike Pences are so painful and horrible.

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