Carboquil

A new soda that you can make with the use of any home carbonation product, like SodaStream. However, instead of using the suggested soda syrups, you use NyQuil so you can get crunk as shit.

Friend: Is that lean in your cup?

Me: Nah, it's Carboquil. I got a cold but I'm still trying to get turnt.

College

A place where you go and spend lots of money, ultimately to waste time on Urban Dictionary when you're supposed to be writing a case study on Women in Management.

Transgender Uncle: How's college treating ya?

Me: Not as well as it treated you.

Sniveling Anus Syndrome

A very uncommon syndrome acquired from constant and rigorous wiping of the asshole. Most common symptoms include (but are not limited to): bleeding from the anus, discomfort when sitting down, a little voice coming from your rear end telling you to eat more Chipotle, and uncontrollable desire to dress and act like Joseph Gordon-Levitt did in 500 Days of Summer.

Me: I just can't stop bleeding from my asshole doc.

Doc: Have you been watching 500 Days of Summer?

Me:...What if I have?

Doc: I'm afraid that you have Sniveling Anus Syndrome.

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