qŵèřțýùìòpàßďfğħjķłźxçvbñmmñbvçxźłķjħğfďßpòìùýțřèŵq

You’re on an apple device, and you’re extremely bored. You typed in qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm and backwards, same for AZERTY and QWERTZ. Then you decide to type in more combinations, and when you’re done, you’re back to the QWERTY keyboard and backwards. Instead, you add the first accent mark that appears on a GUI and you end up with this.

Friend: What are you doing for your project?
Me: I’m done a week before the due date.
Friend: So now what?
Me: I have nothing other than qŵèřțýùìòpàßďfğħjķłźxçvbñm.
Friend: Ok.
Me: You know what. qŵèřțýùìòpàßďfğħjķłźxçvbñmmñbvçxźłķjħğfďßpòìùýțřèŵq

1823

to complain

1823 is the complaint hotline for hong kongers that people like calling

We don't want to see any 1823 here.

flying pencil

the boeing 757-300, a really long but narrow one-aisle aircraft, which gives the name

planespotter: there goes the united's flight off across the atlantic...
me: oh, it's a flying pencil to make matters better!