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redneck yoga (noun):
1) The process of having wild sex while listening to the John Cena rap album.
2) A process used to retrieve the last Bud Light after it rolls under your IROC Camaro.
1) "Hold on to the bedsheets, Charlene! Me and Cena are gonna fuck you sideways!"
2) "Aw shit Earl! You dropped the last damn beer under your car! Now I have to go all redneck yoga to get it out!"
Home to the MHS Wildcats and the SI Miners, this overly-pretentious small town has been dubbed the "Hub of the Universe" by its aged mayor of 51 years. Sadly, this town has very little to offer in the form of entertainment, usually causing the youth to resort to drinking, drugs, or street racing. The best parts of the town include the Carnegie Library, Joe's Records, and the occasional weekend night spent at Marion Lake (ask a local about it's location).
Guy #1: "Hey man! Wanna go to Marion, Illinois this weekend?!?"
Guy #2: "Hell no! Why would we do that unless we're getting wasted or street racing?!?"
Guy #1: "Oh yeah, I totally forgot"
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An over-priced, over-rated local college in Southern Illinois. Despite the generally happy student body, the teachers are rather boring, and the school itsself was named after an insane war general from the Civil War. It has very few clubs, and most credits earned are very unlikely to transfer (see "Philippine Stick Fighting" class). However, it can be a fun time if you know the right places to go.
"Take all of your money; and instead of enjoying it, blow it all on tuition, books, and transit money!!! Such goes life in John A Logan College!!!"
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