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The systematic approach to find which farm animal will give you the greatest amount of pleasure. This usually is done by running out to a local farm every night and having sex with a couple of the animals. Animals that kick, bite, remain dry, smell bad, or are too loose can be eliminated in this test.
âAfter conducting three months of animal testing I have discovered that nothing can replace your mother.â
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For those that are extremely ass-greasy on a constant basis, this is a term to be aware of. Keeping up with asshole hygiene is very difficult for some individuals. Sometimes, to remain dry and âscent-freeâ, there needs to be some improvising when toilet paper isnât easily accessible. It would be easy just to drag your ass across the carpet like a dog but there needs to be a certain level of dignity kept. Common methods to wiping ones ass can include using the bed sheet while in bed, using the inside of your shirt or underwear that you are wearing, washing your ass with water in someoneâs bathroom sink (although disgusting, the jerk didnât have any TP!), or any other situation where toilet paper is substituted with something.
âI was greasier than all hell so I had to spread the butter with Joeâs ferret.â
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