Conservative

1.) Anybody who is not left of centre or a Canadian drug addict/whore

2.) Anybody who supports traditional beliefs and corporal punishment for truancy from these beliefs.

3.)People who do not believe in radical changes (eg emancipating illegal drug supply), think it is about time the Canadian government built long required freeways in main centres to resolve gridlock (not a pack of protesters or tree huggers, but a plethora of sedate motor vehicles whose advancement is impeded by a paucity of infastructure to accomodate them), believes the Canadian Prime Minister should walk into Lake Ontario and never return.

I am proud to be a member of the Sovereign of the British Monarchy.

Notice how in the early days, misbehaving children who received corporal punishments were somewhat reluctant to re-offend their elders.

Building new freeways in North America's heavily congested centres would be a truly Conservative choice; traffic flow would improve and possibly even improve the gas mileage of your Ford Taurus, you Ontarian drug addict.

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Liberal

1.)A person who is running amuck due to a paucity of corporal punishment as a child.

2.) Any Canadian who enjoys drugs, does not read a "conservative" newspaper, gets drunk frequently or happens to teach English in New Zealand.

3.) Anybody scared of getting their backside caned, strapped of smacked for bringing their family or institution into disrepute or abstaining from its beliefs.

Adrienne is a liberal who teaches English in New Zealand and does not support the corporal punishment of students who bring senior management at her respective institution into disrepute or abstain from respective outlines.

That Canadian off the television is obviously liberal.

That child streaking on the cricket pitch is liberal; there are no cane marks on his backside.

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