Sloane

that one girl who’s forever stuck in a high school mentality the rest of her life because she’s never had a nasty wake up call forcing her to actually live in real life. Often in an on and off relationship with one of more top tier frat guys in college, investment bankers post grad, or a trophy wife to a guy named Bryce, Tucker or Preston past age 27. Her girls always come first, even though she actually deep down hates her friends because they’re all mean and superficial like herself. Can be found dancing on elevated surfaces in a Tobi bodycon dress with a vodka soda in hand and a VIP band around her wrist, sipping rose and watching the bachelor with her #froomies, or making coffee runs in her leased BMW 3 series that she pretends she bought herself

*during sorority denominations*

Sloane: lets give every girl with a BMI over 23 or isn’t from a zip code that makes over $200k a zero on our scorecards