Lazycuntitus

A person who has little-to-no work ethic, who would prefer to sit at home all day and live off a significant other’s hard earned money, than do anything for themselves would be diagnosed with this disease.

“Wow, you’ve got Lazycuntitus?
Who’d have known!”

“Sorry, I can’t come into work today. I’ve been diagnosed with Lazycuntitus!”

“Have you got a job yet?”
“No, I can’t work due to Lazycuntitus.”

Cardigan Swoosh

When you are accidentally (on purpose) fondled by a passerby under the cloak of a cardigan.

That girl just cardigan swooshed me. She must want the D!