long floater

A lengthy turd that don't sink.

I shat such a long floater that the toilet almost cloggged.

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Twentieth Century

1. The ~ Limited, an extinct luxury train from New York to Chicago.
2. Hell on Earth, 1900-1999, or 1901-2000, for would-be purists.

In the Twentieth Century fools prated of progress, and mass murder was an athletic event.

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snot rag

handkerchief; tissue; kleenex

Throw that filthy snot rag in the trash, piggo!

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Bzzistan

Any Central Asian place where there are deserts, Bactrian camels, fermented mare's milk, and a name ending in "-stan."

Our correspondent, just back from Bzzistan, is here in our studio, having had just enough time to wipe off the camel spit.

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birdcage liner

A newspaper you don't like. See puppy trainer.

The New York Times used to be the Newspaper of Record. Now it's a birdcage liner.

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Afro-Saxon

A person of African origin who is more British than the British, or follows outdated patterns of Englishness. West Indian.

Some Afro-Saxons even dress for dinner. Do they read Evelyn Waugh?

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memorex

Fake or watered down, e.g. decaffeinated coffee, diet coke. From the commercial "Is it real or is it Memorex!"

Gimee a cuppa java! Real or Memorex?

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