beard blind

the inability to see or recall if a man or woman has facial hair, including if it changes over time. not to be confused with beard blinders; the use of one's hands to part excessive facial or other hair. Ex "his beard was so copious she had to use beard blinders to kiss him

Beard blind in the witness made the garden gnome bank robbers hard to finger

orgasmatoot

At the moment of ejaculation or orgasm one let's loose with the 'ol ass trumpet

Dude, i was so into that trim until she dropped an orgasmatoot and almost made me vomit