anal mop

A mop, rammed inside one's anus. Definitely not gay. Quite cleansing, does a fine cleaning job.
Also a good name for your boyfriend.

'Hey, are you keen for an anal mop tonight?'
'Uh, that's gay'
'Nah, it's not gay. it'll clean out that rancid butter chicken you ate out of the neighbour's rubbish this morning'