Introducing an Irn-Bru bottle up a lady's poontang with one hand while inserting the spare hand up the anus to remove the lid through the recto-vaginal wall. The liquid is then consumed direct as it gushes from the lady canal.
"I had just come back from a highland-flinging marathon and me lassie was demandng a wee bit of me caber. I was so thirsty i whipped out an irn-bru and gave her the old Filthy Maitland."
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