gandhi

1)Brilliant leader of non-violent Indian insurgency against British colonial rule during the first half of 20th century in. Philosophy of civil disobedience not only won independence for India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, but influenced Civil Rights movement in US through slain leader Martin Luther King Jr.
2)To shit one's pants or man-diaper with no visible sign of discomfort.

1)Gandhi inspired many millions of people to risk their lives to rid themselves of the shackles of the British Empire. He would often sit at his loom in a diaper. This was awe inspiring.
2)Uncle Joe would watch the Sunday games in his old Barcalounger with the food tray in front of him. Nary a facial muscle would twitch when he gandhied during the half-time show. The stench was unbelievable.

521👍 187👎

twas

1)a possessive form of the airline abbreviation
2)The plural of "twat"
3)A toast made a bit later in the evening.

1)You're supposed to give those headphones back to the Stewardess, they're TWAs.
2)I paid the ladies ahead of time for my favorite holiday pastime. Twas, the night before Christmas.
3)First round- to your beauty and my wit.(Drink)
Second round-to a lovely evening! (Drink)
Third round- to you- what's your name again?(they drink)
Eight round- Twas! (spill, then find mouth)

123👍 52👎

mcfatty

What the drive-thru cashier must smoke in order to suggest super-sizing your meal 5000 times a shift,25000 times a week, millions of times a year,billions and billions served.

"Welcome to Mcdonald's. Can I take your order? **snort**"
My mother-in-law and I gave each other a knowing look. The loudspeaker snort was a dead give-away for Mcfatty inhalation. We bummed a couple of tokes in order to keep quiet, and then headed to the motel with our post-coital snack.

186👍 42👎

splume

The penile geyser of manjuice that overfloweth upon orgasm.

He neglected to mention the depth and breadth of his splume, nor the angle of approach. She got home from the prom wearing his adolescent glaze.

65👍 7👎

Ralph Malph

the act of giving oral sex in order to hide ones inablility to summon an erection. Named for the character from Happy Days.

Joanie (spread eagle and signalling Ralph Malph to plow her)- Come on, Malphie, gimme the high hard one.
Ralph - Uh, Joannie, Uh, aren't we moving a little fast?
Joanie- you sound like Chachi, ya big wuss. Whip it out, goddammit!
Ralph - (gazing wildly about till he remembers how he solved this with Potsie just last week. Nods.)Aha!
(laugh track)(bends over into Joanie's lap and buries his face in her little Mrs. C. Note to director: Remember this is supposed to be the fifties and it's network television. Ralph's face must be surrounded by Joanie's ungroomed muskpelt in order to get past the censors.)
Joanie- Unngh!(Leans back and smiles)
(laugh track chuckles and full roars as this goes on for awhile. Joanie checks her watch- laugh track).
Joanie- (Winces)Hey, Ralphie, it's not a punching bag!
Ralph- (Through his teeth) I still got it!
(Applause, fadeout, roll credits).

46👍 15👎

cotton panel

Apparently something that allows a vagina to breathe.

1)She seemed to be suffocating, but the gathering crowd didn't seem concerned. Her panties were constructed with a cotton panel.
2)When asked if her pussy would like something to eat, she seemed surprised, but the bartender motioned to her cotton panel, and she gave him a Mentos smile and agreed that a cocktail might do the trick.

91👍 15👎

carson

1) Verb meaning to take a golf club and swat at someone's testicles (ala Johnny Carson)
2)The act of holding someone's balls to the forehead in order to concentrate (ala JC's Carnac the magnificent)
3)A means to get a new car advocated by Toyota.

1)I passed out on the floor of my frat house and awoke just before Weber gave me a carson. I fled through the pantry door with my morning wood intact.
2)I wouldn't say I was her fuck buddy per see. Sure, I got off, but I was starting to suspect that she needed to think, and was only waiting till I slept before she carsoned me.
3)That Toyota Prius is looking sweet. What would the total carbon output be if I were to carson my subaru?

285👍 250👎