i was on crack

the phrase "i was on crack" is a quick yet poor excuse for doing something stupid or retarded.
the phrase can also be used humorously with friends to play off something minor that will not bring the fbi into the picture.

fbi: will we find any sexually explicit images of children on your pc edp445?

edp: nah offica, i ain't sick like dat.
fbi: *opens up lolicon folder* "sir why is there lolicon on your pc?
edp: *shits out cupcake* "uhhh i was on crack when i downloaded that"

friend: john why did throw your hamburger at an elderly woman?
john: oh yeah, i was on crack
friend: oh ok.

pull a columbine

to "pull a columbine" is basically doing a typical school shooting, minus the incredibly large amount of infamy, copy cats and social effect that columbine had. basically a lvl 1 school shooting done by a noob who doesn't know how to wash their leather cheerio and smells like doo doo feces.

connor: oh my, im so fed up with being bullied at school even though im the instigator, i think im gonna pull a columbine
penis of johnson: stfu you smelly kid, put your dads hunting rifle away and get some help as well as not be such a bitch at school and no one will bully you"
connor: thanks penis of johnson! now that i've been given some valuable info, i have turned my life around and have become a famous mathematician.
penis of johnson: you're welcome!
*and the school lived happily ever after*

i don't consent to being sentenced.

a very simple, yet MASSIVELY effective phrase that if said in court, will pardon you of any crime, whether it be rape, murder, or driving a car into a christmas parade!.

*this sentence was used in the darrell brooks sentencing trial that happened earlier today on 2022-11-16 and the live chat went crazy with the "lols" and the "lmao's". i thought it was pretty funny when he said that lol.

judge:for the crimes you have commited, such as rape, murder, trespassing, castration of the elderly i sentence you to 1000 yea-

defendant: i don't consent to being sentenced.
judge: oh, i guess you're free to go...the jury would like to thank the thing and people for their blah blah blah blah.

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ponut

that little round thing in between the buttcheeks of my little pony porn that kind of looks like a donut from what i've seen. it's a term used by bronies to describe a ponies anus.

lvl 5 brony: *fapping* "look at twilights stanking booty hole! mmm i wanna fuck it"
OG brony: stfu kid, it's called a "ponut", use the correct word or we'll pop a cap in yo ass nigga!.

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