sex-buffet

A selection of slim jims, croutons, and rye bread kept bedside to be used during sexual intercourse for reasons that have nothing to do with nutritional value, but have everything to do with kinky sex.

When I picked up the PBR at the liquor store I also grabbed a box of slim jims for the sex-buffet.

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the poofster

A tiny-eyed creature with a considerable poof (whether shampooed or dirty) who kisses like a sparrow, drinks champagne out of a china bowl, does the jokerman headshake dance, thinks love should not be reduced to consistency between word and deed, and who snaps a magnum condom into thirds whenever he uses one...which is hardly ever.

Shit! I don't have a china bowl for the champagne- hopefully the poofster won't mind drinking it from this stemless martini glass.

I made the mistake of discussing amorous consistency with the poofster last night; I should have just grabbed a magnum and kissed his tiny sparrow lips.

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emo-redic

(From the contemporary American English, emotionally ridiculous) A characteristic of a male who alternates between close intimacy and affective distance several times in the span of one day, or perhaps an hour, with his lover/s.

An affective state typically caused by indecision about which girlfriend (1 or 2) a man should conduct a serious relationship with.

A tactical disposition often used to deflect emotional confrontation by appealing to lame jokes and sarcasm.

"You know I love you, stupid. This is just a bad time for me to be expressing emotion when I am confused about how I should be relating to you and my other girlfriend."

"You are so fucking emo-redic; I didn't think it was possible for one person to be so emo-redic. You've set an international record for emo-redicosity."

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sexgod

A man with a serious poof who makes a woman tremble with his sexual prowess, insists on using the pull-out method for contraception, ejaculates on the woman's chest (and possibly face, if accidental), wipes semen off of the woman, then leaves tissues on the floor for the woman to throw away the following day.

Although it would take you 2 nanoseconds to throw that tissue in the trash, don't worry about it, b/c you are a sexgod.

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