Personality Hangover

(noun). The mental agony you go through the day after drinking when you recall your poor decisions from the night before. Caused most frequently upon hearing anything following the statement "oh my god last night you...". Symptoms: questioning your existence/wondering how ashamed your parents would be of you

I am having such a bad personality hangover that I googled AA in my area and contemplated ubering to a 4:30 meeting.

Scroll of Shame

(Verb). Waking up on a Sunday and going from app to app to see the texts, Snapchats, etc you sent while drunk. If your poor thumb could talk it would ask to be amputated after the level 3 trauma it just endured.

This morning the scroll of shame was so rough, i ordered a flip phone for next weekend and am only putting 911 and dominos in the contacts.

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