Dickstracted

adj. Being distracted from any regular routine by a man's dick, either by accident or he might just be showing off.

1. As my hubby descended the stairs with a grande boner which he proudly stuck in my face as I ascended, I was incredibly dickstracted and almost fell down the stairs.

2. My first dickstraction was at a nude beach. I was 12, saw a boner and almost fell in a hole.

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go chimpanzee

When someone pisses you off and you rip off their face.

Upon seeing my husband's ex-wife I had to go chimpanzee and rip off her face.

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Lick-a-likes

Lesbian twins.

1. The original doublemint gum girls would have been great licka-likes;

2. Those lick-a-likes are so gay they'd munch a philly Cheese PussinBrokeback Valley.

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Spawn Chi

1. n. Fermented Cabbage made from Korean children;

2. v. Children from Marin County - vis-a-vis Starbucks chi latte.

Def: 1. Kim Jong Il's kids made great spawn chi!

Def: 2. Consuela took the kids from Mill Valley to Starbucks for their daily chi latte. She calls the demanding little shits "spawn chi."

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Clown Nuts

Testicles colored like a clown's face after sex with a menstruating women. "Clown Face," but on your nuts.

After banging Mary Jane Rotten Crotch, I looked down and realized that I had Clown Nuts. "So that was why she was crunchy! I thought she had some dengue-fever, twat clot vagina."

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sand fleas

Parasites from people that are too poor to get regular crabs.

Man, that chick with the big ol' brown ass titties gave me serious sand fleas

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Liebrador Retriever

The kind of dog you get when someone tells you that they have a really cute Lab/Boxer Mix that really needs a good home and it turns out to be part pit bull and part Alien.

"Did you hear about Jack?"
"No."
"He's still in the hospital after being mauled by his new Liebrador Retriever his uber-whore ex- girlfriend gave him for his birthday!"

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