Knee Slapnea

The most invigorating form of exhaustion known to clothed humans. In this condition breathing is interrupted for 15-30 seconds when laughing uncontrollably. Untreated, it may lead to spontaneous flatulence and staining of undergarments.

I feel terrible, I told Bob a joke and he fell down, rolling around in a fit of Knee Slapnea, am I responsible for any injury?

Limbaughtomy

A severe impairment of cognitive function as a result of repeated exposure to bigoted views (see “Bignorism”).

Neural activity that would normally travel to the neocortex (in the upper brain) for analysis and evaluation is diverted to the amygdala (in the lower brain, a center of emotion) where it excites fear and hatred.

This diversion of brain signals is a survival mechanism that evolved in early mammals to react to dangers, where immediate action is needed before the neocortex has time to mull over incoming information.

The amygdala does not apply logic as it scans for danger. If information is non-threatening, it allows transfer to the neocortex. When it senses danger, other parts of the brain are activated, and this can lead to aggressive responses driven by the lower (reptilian) brain.

An example is when people respond to a mass shooting by saying, “We should enact laws to restrict semiautomatic weapons and large clips”. Someone who has been Limbaughtomized instead hears, “Let’s have the gummint break into houses and seize any guns they find — next week we’ll go after swords, knives, needles and then rocks. Hell, let’s take their women while we’re at it”.

Thank God! Ever since O'Reilly was fired for sexual harassment, we've got one less bloviator to perform a Limbaughtomy. Could this help curb the growth of Bignorism?

Bignorism

Bignorism
big-ner-ih-zum — noun

Ignorance, perpetuated by bigotry, and raised to the level of a religion.
A condition formed by a process of actively ignoring information that
contradicts strongly held beliefs and preconceived notions, a defense mechanism
against cognitive dissonance. Passively accepting as truth any information that
confirms our beliefs, and actively dismissing information that doesn’t.

Bignoristic — adjective describing a person or statement that ignores
information that is inconsistent with their prejudices.
Bignoramus — noun describing a person characterized by bignoristic thinking.

Some candidates base their appeal on Bignorism, knowing a portion of voters will respond positively to messages of racism and hate, and that they will not listen to evidence to the contrary.