Peter

Peter is the epitome of the perfect man for the job. Any job. This includes lover and best friend….

Peter is sagacious, intelligent, and savvy yet has a sense of humour you would kill for, if you could actually kill someone for a sense of humour. No joke is too crass, yet he is man enough to discern when to put it out there, and when to keep it clean. He can drop the funniest lines at the most inappropriate moments and his timing is always impeccable no matter what the subject. He can quote the shit out of any comedy and is especially good at imitating a Scottish accent. He is both a Witty Comedian, and a Wise Sage.

On a deeper note, Peter is sensitive and kind and often questions his own worth. He is a young boy, wounded healer, warrior, gentleman, and best friend all in one devilishly handsome package. He has a knack for seeing your strengths and gently guiding you whilst also making you accountable for moving forwards.

He is a Master of all Trades – including the Ancient Art of Pooyah Fu. There is nothing he won’t learn for the benefit of his own growth, and that is a superpower. Peter is a high energy wordsmith that should be highly regarded as a necessary party accessory. Even if you have a James in the house, a Peter will outrank in charisma by a mile. He has an archaic charm that could win the heart of even the surliest of souls. He’s not afraid of standing up and man enough to stand down.

If you have a Peter, hang onto him. If you don’t, go and bloody find one!

Human: Peter will you please stop being so noisy and crass!
Peter: Fuck off!

Woman: OMG what was that you were just talking to? He reminds me of a Viking Warrior!
Me: That was a Peter.

Person: Peter, when are you going to grow the fuck up!
Peter: *crunches loudly on chips while giving a death stare
Person: Are you serious? Just act your age!
Peter: *throws bag of chips at persons and twerks his ass in their direction
Person: *starts crying
Peter: *raises hand in Breakfast Club Victory

Woman: I love Peter so much. I need a Peter in my life.
Man: I love Peter so much. I need a Peter in my life.