pleatherman

Any generic multitool used by vegans, cheapskates, and others who disapprove of the name, price, or authenticity of Leatherman(tm) brand multitools.

Greg: I can't believe your new leatherman broke that easily!
Jody: Actually it's a pleatherman my dad picked up in chinatown last weekend.
Greg: That sucks. Maybe if you weren't a vegan he would have bought a genuine leatherman instead of that cheap knock-off pleatherman.
Jody: Doubtful. My dad's a perennial cheapskate.

crotch snowflake

Finely-powdered frozen semen. One of the lesser problems associated with masturbating outside in the winter.

"This snow cone is too salty"
"Eww dude, I think you're eating crotch snowflakes"

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