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When a terrorist is about to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of a Middle Eastern market and shits himself before he can set off the bomb. Generally, the poo flies all over the place and ruins all the food in the market.
Akmed: sup Mohammed? Wow, this market is really packed, eh? Check out Abdul with his big, fancy chicken stand over there. Oh, look at me; I'm Abdul and I think I'm so important with my magical chicken stand. I provide protein for people and think I'm the hottest shit in town.
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
58๐ 15๐
When you trick a seemingly innocent girl into letting you have anal sex with her, and you return from the bathroom to find that she's gone and has taken a huge shit in the middle of your bed.
Sometimes, if she was super pissed about it, she takes the dump in your drawer and you don't find it for a few days.
Biff: "Hey Floyd - that stupid slut you hooked me up with last night. Yeah, uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she crapped in my bed."
Floyd: "Uh...what do you mean?"
Biff: "Are you retarded? I fucked Leona in the ass, and then when I went to wash my cock off she took a massive crap in my bed. Those sheets will never be the same. Corn and peas. NA-A-STY!
Floyd: "Corn AND peas? That is fucking rotten. I mean, if it was only corn I could see-"
Biff: "Shut up you asshole. Listen, you're not going to tell ANYONE about this. I'll beat your ass if you do. But seriously, that bitch got pretty hard revenge on me. My mama gave me those sheets and she always asks about them. How can I tell her that some skank took a huge, squirrelly dump in them because I analed her?"
Floyd: "Just tell her that a homeless guy broke into your-"
Biff: "Dude, you suck."
118๐ 78๐
When a guy forgets to clean his wiener for a few days and it gets a little ripe.
Hey Charlene! That guy you hooked me up with last night - um, yeah...I went to give him a blow job and he had the really raunchy funky pickle"
31๐ 10๐
When you are camping or ice-fishing and have to take a huge dump in the snow. The dump is typically really red with chunks of corn in it.
Dude, put down that fishing rod and come check out this huge indian shit I just took. Look, stir it up with a stick. There's a whole bunch of corn in it. Sick!
48๐ 33๐