red and brown mile

When you shit your pants at a night club with your friends and then have to walk home because you don't have a car and you know you would get kicked out of a cab or bus. When your shit sticks to your inner thighs after a few miles of walking, the chafing starts to bleed and by the end of the night you're washing blood and shit off your body after your soul has been crushed.

Steve: "Man, what happened to you Saturday night?"
Charlie: "Too much tequila after that burrito and I couldn't reach the toilet."
Steve: "Gross."
Charlie: "Worse. Dave wouldn't drive me home so I walked a red and brown mile."

6👍 2👎

pooniwoven

An object woven from poon and poon related fabrics of varying quality. Manual pooniweavers make the highest quality merchandise. High tech industrial pooniweavers lack the kind of individual touch that makes a pooniwoven object unique and stylish.

Yvonne: "I love your scarf, what's it made of?"

Daniel: "It's pooniwoven. Two thirds Italian Cougar, one third Southern Caucasian sorority girl."

Yvonne: "It's gorgeous, but what's that smell?"

nugget planking

3 person sex act. A man planks between two sturdy objects and his genitals to hang down. Second participant sucks the dangling balls while the third participant inserts nugget-shaped anal beads in the planker. Planker orgasms with both balls in the mouth of the second participant and the nuggest being yanked from his ass. All three participants scream "WASABI!!!"

Heather and Pat had a great time introducing Jed to nugget planking. All three of them reached WASABI!!

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lipty

An elliptical machine at a gym, where you burn calories while solving the world's problems.

Christina: Almost done?
Mitch: Two more deadlift sets then I'll be done.
Christina: Cool. Catch you on the lipty in 10.