crotch rock

A brand of music that is marked by the mental image of, as you listen and close your eyes, you can see the lead singer clutching his crotch through a pair of shiny leather pants to make his voice sound more like he is oraly farting than singing. Other signs: guitarists who frequent the pelvic thrust and power stance, drummers who play enormous drum sets and spin their sticks while playing

"Dude, have you heard the new albums from Nickelback and Creed?"
"Uh, no, I would rather pour bleach in my eyes than listen to crotch rock."

8👍 6👎

Professional "That Guy"

Quite often a professional musician, a professional "that guy" is hired to be a scape goat for lameness and criticism. They are the tried and true wingmen for all those who can't quite cut it in public.

Holy crap, Taylor Swifts guitarist is totally a Professional "That Guy". No Johnny, your just a regular that guy.

3👍 3👎

Hillbilly Bidet

Sometimes when you take a crap at home, you realize one of two things; 1: there is no toilet paper to be found and no one to get it for you or 2: your crap was so disgusting that toilet paper will be no match for it at all. A "Hillbilly Bidet" is when you forsake the use of toilet paper altogether, get up off the toilet and proceed straight to the shower to clean yourself off.

Dude, I got such ridiculous food poisoning that I didn't even attempt to wipe...just went straight to the shower for a hillbilly bidet.

facebook porn

The act of looking at all of the pictures of a person on facebook. The less you know the person, the better.

Dude, stop lookin' at facebook porn.

119👍 31👎

bull whip

This is the dude version of a pony tail.

"Wow, nice pony tail..."
"Do I look like a miniature horse that small children ride on, and more so, does it look I have one of their effeminate tails on the back of my head? It's a bull whip, and no, you can't touch it."

8👍 3👎

french hug

The most intimate and beautiful of all hugs. You start with you your hands really close together and make contact with the generalized belly-button area of the lucky recipient. Then your hands split off to adventure back to the small of the other persons back. Once your hands are around the kidneys, pull them in real tight and make a quick turn up toward the shoulder blades. Once you've finally come to rest at the upper back, possibly even wrapping around to the top of their shoulders, try to maintain a well distributed pressure over their entire body. A deep smell of their neck and pelvic thrust are encouraged, though optional.

Sammy likes getting french hugs from other guys...

99👍 41👎