bonely

v. to be a lonely male with a boner, especially one that needs immediate attention. More than likely will be taken care of by Ms. Palm and her 5 little nieces.

I am feeling so bonely tonight that I will be pulling my pud as soon as I make it to my car.

72👍 24👎

crotchet

(crot-SHAY) a large piercing in the genitalia with a crochet hook. Crotch, of course, refers to the area of the genitalia, and a crochet hook is used to turn yarn into fabric. It is similar to a knitting needle but may be larger and will have tortuous hooks on one or both ends.

A local craft shop saw a mysterious rise in the number of crochet hooks sold. All was explained when the craft shop owner visited the local body piercing studio and saw an artisan crotchet the young ladies labia.

42👍 7👎

porn horn

the large cock (big as a rhino horn) of a porn film star

In the second scene of the XXX-rated movie, the skank was definitely giving her all, even though she was choking on the porn horn.

57👍 14👎

soda jerk

1) to jerk off in a soda can that just happens to be nearby

2) to jerk off with a full soda bottle inserted into the rectum

The old style coke bottle works best for a soda jerk. It fits good, is ribbed, doesn't need any lube, and the caffeine enema keeps you coming...

79👍 54👎

crab grass

1) a woman's bush begrudgingly offered, knowing that she will be able to use the favor to her advantage at a later time; i.e., a crabby female who allows playing in her pubic grass now as a sacifice for a later advantage

2) a woman's pubes loaded with crabs

Damn I was horny, but the ole lady was in a pissy mood so I refused the crab grass knowing that if I played today, I would be paying tomorrow.

41👍 14👎

crabgrass

1) a woman's bush begrudgingly offered, knowing that she will be able to use the favor to her advantage at a later time; i.e., a crabby female who allows playing in her grass now as a sacifice for a later advantage

2) a woman's pubes loaded with crabs

Damn I was horny, but the ole lady was in a pissy mood so I refused the crabgrass knowing that if I played today, I would be paying tomorrow.

43👍 16👎

rusted root

1) a seldom-used cock

2) the name of an awesome Pittsburgh band known for their worldly rock

Damn, I ain't got none in so long, I got a rusted root.

Huh?

Yeah, my dick is about to fall off from lack of lubrication.

54👍 5👎