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Jared is one of the hottest people on planet earth but they literally SUCK!! You can never be happy with a Jared. Due to them being overwhelmingly hot, people hit on them all the time. And since Jareds have a wide variety of people they can date just because they're hot, they're bound to jump from guy to guy, girl to girl, person to person. Even animals love Jared! It's unfair. All Jareds have the power to steal your girl and they will. Have you never heard Wilbur Soot's most famous and well-known line from 'Your New Boyfriend'??
"Yeah, I've met Jared (OF COURSE I'VE MET JARED). The one who took you away from me. You hit it off instantly, I know cause you won't STOP TELLING ME. Seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles, pushed against his fashion sense. I've thought about what he looks nude. I'm not gay though.."
All Jareds suck are super evil! Beware of Jareds!!
Person 1: "Jared broke up with me!"
Person 2: "Again? You ain't never gonna be happy with a Jared."
Person 1: "All my homies hate Jared!"
Jared: "Hi I'm Jared and I'm evil"
Simpbur is one of the best Burs known to mankind and everyone loves him >:)
If you find a wild Simpbur reward it with love and respect because THEY DESERVE IT.
person 1: "yo... Simpbur is so pog...."
person 2: "i know right???"
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SPOILERS FOR STEVEN UNIVERSE:
The song "Stronger than you" from Steven Universe S.1 EP.53. A song that Garnet sings whilst fighting Jasper on her ship after Ruby and Sapphire fuse, forming Garnet and revealing her to be a fusion.
Quick description of Jailbreak S.1 EP.53: "Following the Crystal Gems' defeat by Jasper, Steven wakes imprisoned in a cell with a black eye, blocked by an electric, yellow force field."
"Yo, Stronger than you is straight fire, man!"
"So true!"